Conservative vs. Liberal

(Some of this doesn't paint the entire picture, or provide complete viewpoints from both side of every issue, but the basic attitudes are mostly there...)

Conservative or Liberal

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a liberal is down-and-out, he wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
If a liberal doesn’t like a talk show host, he demands that those he doesn’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
If a liberal is a non-believer he wants any mention of God and religion silenced – unless, of course, the religion is foreign!

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a liberal decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he’s in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
If a liberal reads this, he will delete it because he’s ”offended.”

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