NEW PrePREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from
GA. This guy should run for President one day...
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation
safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty
to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more
time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally
whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these
truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of
Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car,
big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can
legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not
just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will
be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from
harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful;
do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch
potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm
other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric
chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or
services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get
together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big
screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All
of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in
hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of
education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
(AMEN!)
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being
an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the
way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We
don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back
to wherever you came from!
(Lastly....)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our
country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one
true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any
faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD
WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable
with it, TOUGH!