It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia and a new student named
Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said
'Give me Liberty, or give me death'?" She saw blank faces, except for
Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775", he said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the
people, shall not perish from the earth'?" Again no response except from
Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Suzuki. The teacher snapped at the
class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country
knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper, "Fuck the Japs". "Who said that?" she
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher
glares and asks, "All right, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George
Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yea, Suck this!" Suzuki jumps
of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to
Monica Lewinsky, 1997."
Now with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little shit. If you
anything else, I'll kill you." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his
voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted.
As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh
shit, we're fucked," and Suzuki said, "The Taliban, 2001!"
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